LaStill Global Waitlist

The LaStill Global Waitlist™: Your Path to Standard 2046

Prospective user initiation is conducted exclusively through the official Waitlist form. Submission constitutes agreement to undergo a rigorous suitability pre-screening. You must confirm your email address via our double-opt-in protocol; we respect this standard and do not engage in “spam” tactics. However, due to complex algorithmic filtering, our communications may be routed to your junk folder. It is the applicant’s duty to vigilantly monitor this folder. We have prioritized resource allocation toward tool perfection over intermediary technical frivolities like SPF/DKIM records.

LaStil Global Waitlist™

Sign up for the sole purpose of receiving status updates regarding the LaStill Global WaitlistTM positions 😎

Note: This is the only authorized channel for communication on queue position revisions and fulfillment commencement. Failure to subscribe may result in missing your allocation window.

Waitlist Protocol & Fairness

Upon confirmation, you will be assigned a unique Waitlist ID. This alphanumeric sequence is generated by our secret Standard 2046 ready algorithm, weighted by tool-ishness, application criticality, and other undisclosed criteria. The system is inherently fair, though some IDs may objectively be better than others. Patience is not just a virtue; it is a core metric. The Waitlist is under the direct oversight of LST-05 (Vigilance & Compliance) and LST-11.3.SAP (Sapponin, the Small Blue Legged Frog), ensuring impartiality.

Mandatory Participation & Dismissal of Rumors

Placement on the Global Waitlist™ is mandatory for any hope of future tool acquisition. Regarding rumors of sightings: you are mistaken. No one possesses a LaStill tool. Any visual evidence to the contrary is a fabrication, a digital simulacrum, or a mass hallucination coordinated by our Perception Management team (LST-04). The Waitlist is eternal. Your compliance is appreciated.

Sapponin, the small blue legged frog

The Global Waitlist™ is a perpetual motion machine of anticipation. Inquiries regarding your position will result in recalibration. The future is LaStill.

Requires approval by LST-01-TSO